iWork.com – letter
iWork.com – Shared Documents
Hello I’m back
Well now here i am again and I’m sorry I’ve been absent but i have been having a few problems with the old top lap but that is now sorted with a thing called a mac that has some thing called a magic mouse and as i like mouses i should be ok !
So the news, since i last reported, the good people in black and whit fur put on some posh outfits and went to something called a church where a few of them carried a heavy looking box inside and sang songs ! Let mew tell you they all looked very smart and did a fine job in saying farewell to a good man they referred to as sport billy.
The good looking human from the onion and his chairman are still working very hard testing the market and still swear muchly at the amount of work particularly about the work they have done for the last month which has to be done very soon but they have now been told to present it in a different way than was originally asked but without any longer to do it !! so someone will have to work extra !!
That woman on the top corridor is still counting potatoes and pissing people off but that is her job so they tell me
i got stuck in a car and ended up in a place called Newbold where i had to listen to lots of people going on about stuff that is a secret then i ended up lost and found myself in something called a bar where i found someone called @sidmouse who is retiring soon and oh boy doesn’t he love to remind us all but then again who can blame him and aren’t we all jealous. He made me drink lots of black liquid until my back legs became a bit wobbly but any way i managed to get back to the uncomforted of a bed safely!
Any way i have to dash as i have fur ball to deal with but i promise i will return again soon and if you are all very luck i shall bring a dead bird or something with me
Furrrrther observations by a Prison Cat !
Well now what has happened since i last put paw to laptop ?
Over the last couple of days i have as is my want wandered around my prison observing the carryings on of those with the black and white fur.
i had a very good nights sleep curled up in the lap of a lovely lady officer with blonde hair( im covered in them so i think she must be molting) called A NOO which seems a funny name but thats prison for you. Ithen breakfasted well on sausages left over from last week .
I had a gentle meander into that new place called in duct ing and listened to a thing they call grumpy moaning and moaning about Rovers ! i hope they arent getting some prison dogs, i dont like dogs, but the way he was talking about these Rovers i doubt it, my oh my how he swore and called them names and said he wouldnt go and see them any more if they didnt obey his commands.
From there I had a stroll into entrail de tale to see what what that nice bald human and the one that keeps wasps were doing but as usual all they were talking to people on those bones and by the sounds of it causing a great deal of upset about something called purrment pulse and FWR, whatever that is ? All I can say from my short time in there is that they seem to do their best with what little they have but go un appreciated unless they are giving people what they want !
So further down the corridor I passed a woman counting potatoes then went into OOO M YOU, I don’t like it in there as they have something called hair conditioner and it’s very cold, too cold for a cat but when I meow about it they get all fractious and acuse me of causing trouble ! The big ginger one in there does give me a titbit every now and again.
So off to my favourite place in the whole jail the onion office its there that i learn so much stuff about how badly prison officers are treated and how hard those blokes from the onion try to look after every one despite getting little or no thanks for their efforts. i think that the good looking senior one is still working hard to pass the test of the market but keeps muttering about boats and going faster and confidential comerce whatever that is but i know that he is working hard and doing all he can so we should all have some faith and not get bogged down in our own selfishness.
A big fat bloke in a yellow jacket stomped around looking for a bag with some bollocks in it then spent all day pushing a trolley round pretending to busy !
dont ask me for money as iwill not part with it but we all love a tight pussy so come and stroke me !
As a foot note to this and breaking with the genre and theme of this blog, it is with some sadness that i have learned of the death of dave clarkson who passed away last night on the eve of his daughters wedding.
for those of you who knew dave raise a glass to him this evening and for those who didntthat was your loss but take it from me he was a good man so raise a glass any way !
Greetings world !
Greetings world and welcome to the observations of a prison cat !
The observations made on this will be those of a prison cat and will continue for the duration of my 9 lives. I must stress that they will be meown observations and are not reflective of any organisation or professional body and may or may not cause offence and may or may not be humourous, slanderous sad or otherwise.
I have been a prison cat for many years now and feel able to pass comment with some authority on the tooings and froings of prison life and all that happens Googie Withers (for younger viewers that is within these walls)
It’s not a bad life being a prison cat there is always somewhere warm to sleep i often curl up under a blanket with a warder on nights depending of course on how loudly they snore or if they are up and down every 15 minutes pressing some silly button !
i can always manage to find some decent grub and although it’s not felix or smoked salmon i cant for the life of me understand why those humans in flashy trainers and shiny clothes complain all the time, the nice people in the black and white fur eat the stuff ! quite happily.
I have to have a little moan here about passive smoking as im on about 20 a day now and have to lurk around near the smoking area to get my fix but it could be worse i suppose as i have manged to keep my tongue out of that funny green liquid that so many seem to like.
My first observation is that I see so many of the nice humans in the black and white fur wandering around looking unhappy and moaning about something called testing a market and being generally miserable about this so not knowing much about markets (im a cat remember) went for a slink upto my favourit ist place where those realy nice onion people live (i think its onion but might be union ) and had a bit of an earwig at what they were up to and from what i can gather they are doing something called basejumping ? this seems to involve a great deal of swearing and drinking some brown stuff that the one with the red fur on his head makes but they all seem very confident that they will pass the test in the market so i purr to you all have some faith in the onion because oniony is strength apparently !
Some of the black and white furred people seem to be worried about balancing their kittens and being regular with the work and i dont understand why they are unhappy they have a job and unlike me obviously havent been neutered yet !
I see some very funny things as I roam around unnoticed and I intend to report these things as I go but enough for today
if you see me as you go about your business throw me a mackerel or lady jailers give me a stroke and i will purr for you !!
